It's so funny how the moment you cross the threshold into motherhood you are suddenly bombarded with "experts" as to how you should raise your new baby. You hear, "schedules are the right thing to do!", or "if you hold him when he cries, then he will want that all the time!" Sometime I wonder if people actually listen to the words so easily flowing from their mouths. I wish they would chew on them a bit before just spitting them out.
Basic psychology and pretty much the rest of the world would agree that humans are social beings. We thrive on interaction and emotional support from each other. I don't know many people who just want to lock themselves up in a room and never ever want to speak with anyone. So why would we deny a brand new human this need? The most important role a mother has is to continue the relationship that she began with her baby in the womb. It is such a sacred time when only you and baby can communicate, whether it be a tiny nudge from a foot, or a caressing rub on your tummy. I struggle to understand how immediately after the much anticipated birth of a baby, moms are quick to begin the "detachment" by separating themselves from the baby at night, scheduling feeds, and lessening their responses to cues (such as crying). The first year is absolutely the most essential time for the relationship to strengthen in attachment and not the above mentioned! Your relationship with your baby will determine every single relationship they have beyond that.
I write these things and more often than not, get a response about how I have no idea how sleep deprived a mom was, and how allowing the baby to cry was finally what it took for them to get some sleep. Its hard for me to relate and even sympathize simply because the methods that were more than likely being applied were completely opposite of basic human behavior. Yes, we live in a modern and even post-modern society where the latest things are of high value. But no amount of expensive items can fully erase the primitive human functioning and nature of babies.
Doctor's sponsored by crib manufactures are quick to say that co-sleeping is dangerous, yet 3/4 of the world does this.
When a mom (with hurt feelings) says that my posts cause them to feel great pain and regret, I have to point out that perhaps the truth behind their pain is not really me, but rather the fact that somewhere deep inside they knew that all this nonsense about crying it out, strict schedule feedings and separate sleeping were not the right things to do, but being unsure of that little maternal voice in their heads they chose the advice of well meaning but misinformed people.
So is APing the "right" thing to do, or the better style of parenting? I won't be so arrogant as to say yes... that is for every individual to decide. What I will say is that Attachment parenting is the human thing to do....
The pooper scoop on Potty Training!
Well, in a nutshell I could just simply write that I'm waiting until we are closer to age 3 before tackling the fun task of potty-training!
With two babies under 2 yrs. of age, the time it would take to properly dedicate to potty training just ISN'T THERE!!! Am I lazy? Maybe.... but also I know that most babies are not ready emotionally, physically, yada yada before 3 years... so why push the issue?
Ooops gotta run a baby is awake!
More on holding the pee to come =)
With two babies under 2 yrs. of age, the time it would take to properly dedicate to potty training just ISN'T THERE!!! Am I lazy? Maybe.... but also I know that most babies are not ready emotionally, physically, yada yada before 3 years... so why push the issue?
Ooops gotta run a baby is awake!
More on holding the pee to come =)
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